Things You Can't Do When You're Not In Uganda

Have you seen this video yet or one of its many knock-offs?



This video is pretty funny, and if you've spent any time with toddlers, you'll know it's also very accurate. But after I watched it, I was surprised to realize that it actually reminds me of my life here in Uganda.

Living in a different culture kind of makes me feel like that grown-up-toddler all the time. Even when I'm at my best and trying to be very culturally aware and sensitive, I'm sure there are social cues and nuances in Ugandan culture that I'm just not picking up on. There's a quiet but powerful stream of undertones to conversations and interactions that I'm aware of but not always a part of. Because of this, I probably wind up looking like an unruly, egocentric toddler. Everything from body language to vocal intonation to acceptable social norms and expectations are different here. My American tendencies don't all translate into this context, and I must work to adapt in order to deepen relationships and gain respect..

But the longer I live here, the more I realize that the reciprocal is also true. Many things that are perfectly normal and acceptable in Uganda would be extremely strange or offensive in an American context. Often, as I go about my normal day here, I think to myself, "If someone ever did/said this in America, it would be so inappropriate/embarrassing/confusing."

"Socially Acceptable Ugandan Habits That Don't Work in America"

1. Referring to someone as the "very black one," "the somehow brown one," or greeting a stranger by saying "How are you, white?"
2. Asking how much money someone makes in one month.
3. "Beeping" someone's phone (allowing it to ring once or twice before hanging up) so that they call you back and use their own minutes.
4. Pointing out someone's weight or referring to someone as "the very fat one."
5. Picking your nose in public, while having a conversation with someone, walking down the street, sitting in someone's home...
6. Shouting out a foreigner's perceived nationality, language, or passport country as he or she walks by until you get a response. "American!... Brazil!... German!... Omuhindi!... Chinese!...England!..."
7. Not showing up for work or coming hours late because it was raining.
8. Sitting down at a cafe or restaurant only to find out that more than half the menu is not available right now.
9. Handshakes that go on and on and on...
10. Being invited to someone's home for a meal and bringing along an assortment of friends and relatives without first asking, or at least informing, your host.

We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.