Mothers and Fathers and You

"Mothers love to hold their children close to the upper chest, the crook of the neck...

comforting, protecting, holding. 

Fathers, when they hold their children, are more likely to hold them up against their side, 

supporting their weight on the upturned palm. 

The mother carries the child through the world protecting the child from the world, 

and the father carries the child sort of as a hood ornament...facing out, saying, 

'We're going to encounter this together.'"

-Dr. Kyle Pruett,

Yale Child Study Center researcher and professor of psychiatry at Yale University

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Both perspectives are uniquely and equally important in the life and development of a child. Studies have found that babies as young as six weeks are able to differentiate between maternal and paternal interactions and respond accordingly.

For example, when a mother picks up her six-week-old baby, the baby's eyes begin to close, the shoulders relax, heart and respiratory rates slow and regularize. And when the father picks up the same baby, the baby's eyes open, the neck extends, the shoulders hunch up, and heart and respiratory rates begin to get a little faster. It's great for babies to have both experiences... that sense of, “Ah, here comes Mom. I can relax. She’s gonna soothe me.” And, “Here comes Dad, we’re gonna have a lot of fun, and it’s gonna be stimulating.” 

Both parents have so much to offer their baby. So what about the children of single mothers? How are they accessing those equally important paternal experiences?

I believe that single mothers are able to rise to the occasion and play both "mom" and "dad" in a lot of ways. They can beautifully fill in some of those gaps when they're intentional and aware of their parenting and interactions with their child.

I also believe that the Church is responsible to come alongside single moms and their children. We're meant to live in community, and this is a wonderful opportunity for men and families in the church to step out and become committed to the emotional well-being of these mothers and children. These caring, trusted men don't have to be the biological father of the child in order to view the needs of the child as an obligation. When single mothers are supported in this way, and the Church stands with them, everyone benefits.

The mother is encouraged,
the Church is united,
and the child benefits emotionally, cognitively, behaviorally, and even educationally.

We are the Church. Let's play our part.