You know you've been in Uganda for a long time when...

…seeing someone speeding towards you in the wrong lane seems completely normal.

…you find yourself pointing with your lips and saying "yes" by raising both eyebrows.

…you can masterfully employ a variety of "Eh!" and "Eh eh!" noises to convey a range of meanings.

…you know "Come back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m." means whatever you're trying to get done is NEVER going to happen.

…you start using the words "even" and "ever" in places you never would have ("Even me, I'm feeling hungry," or "I have ever done that").

…you start referring to people as "this one" or "that one."

…you willingly drive into oncoming traffic just to avoid the potholes.

…you can speak Uglish so well that - you talk with a Ugandan accent; use words like 'shocked,' 'fearing,' 'extend,' 'balance,' 'somehow,' 'even me,' and 'can you imagine' and 'are you sure?' far too often...

…you know the load shedding schedule by heart.

…someone calls out your name and your reply is: "Yes, please."

…you end the conversation with "Ok please"

…you start sentences with "As for me, I …."

…you get "Am Fine" as a reply to your "Hi."

…clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes.

…you know the man asking for Lose actually refers to Rose. And when someone says "let's play" you should stay seated for a prayer.

…your handshakes last an entire conversation.

…your home does not have an address.

…people walk into your house and you say "You are all most welcome!"

…you think "eh" in a high pitch tone is the correct way to respond when a boda driver's price suggestion is too high.

(Full disclosure: I didn't write this, but I can attest to the accuracy of these statements that have been circulating around the internet.)